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Best 101 Christmas Vacation Quotes that will never be faded and make you laugh

Make your Christmas more colorful with these exclusive Christmas vacation quotes.

Arjyapath by Arjyapath
15th December 2019 - Updated On 16th May 2020
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Christmas Vacation quotes feature by betterlifethoughts
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Christmas vacation quotes from the most popular “Christmas Vacation movie” will make your Christmas more fun and entertainment. Christmas means relax, have fun, enjoy and happiest moment.

In this time, we usually love to watch some funny and laughing movies. No doubt that National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is the best movie in this category. The quotes of Christmas vacation are full of fun and uncommon.

There are many popular and unique Christmas vacation quotes in this movie. All of that are evergreen. They are not similar to traditional Christmas quotes. If you read all the quotes, surely you will feel the difference.

Here I have selected 100 best and popular Christmas vacation quotes. I hope you will enjoy reading these quotes.

Christmas vacation quotes by Clark Griswold

1. “Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — Clark Griswold

2. “Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Happy Hanukkah.” — Clark Griswold

3. “We’re at the threshold of hell.” — Clark Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-1

4. “Eat my road, Red Liver Lips!” — Clark Griswold

5. “Yes, it’s a bit nipply out, I mean nippy out.” — Clark Griswold

6. “I’m gonna catch it in a coat, and smack it with a hammer!” — Clark Griswold

7. “No, I have one of those at home.” — Clark Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-2

8. “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” — Clark Griswold

8. “It’s all part of the experience, honey!” — Clark Griswold

10. “Bend over and I’ll show you.” — Clark Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-3

11. “Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen!” — Clark Griswold

12. “*sips eggnog* It’s good. It’s good.” — Clark Griswold

13. “Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.” — Clark Griswold

14. “Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air, and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.” — Clark Griswold

15. “Can’t see the line, can ya, Russ?” — Clark Griswold

16. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” — Clark Griswold

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17. “It’s a one-year membership in the jelly-of-the-month club.” — Clark Griswold

18. “We’re gonna have the hap- hap- happiest Christmas.” — Clark Griswold

19. “Looks great. Little full, lotta sap.” — Clark Griswold

20. “Wouldn’t be the holiday shopping season if the stores weren’t hooter than they are—hotter than they are.” — Clark Griswold

21. “We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.” — Clark Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-7

22. “I’m going to catch it in the coat, smack it with a hammer!” — Clark Griswold

23. “Eat my rubber!” — Clark Griswold

24. “Surprised, Eddie?… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” — Clark Griswold

25. “We’re at the threshold of hell!!” — Clark Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-8

26. “Hey kids, look! A deer!” — Clark Griswold

27. “Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Christhmath.” — Clark Griswold

28. “Honey, they’re family—not strangers off the street.” — Clark Griswold

29. “Your mother waxes her upper lip?… Hmm doesn’t show.” — Clark Griswold

30. “I can’t even afford to be an elf.” — Clark Griswold

31. “I was just smelling…smiling! I was just blouse…browsing!” — Clark Griswold

32. “It wouldn’t be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter-hotter! Than they are.” — Clark Griswold

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33. “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.” — Clark Griswold

34. “Oops, a little knot here. You work on that.” — Clark Griswold

35. “Don’t piss me off, Art.” — Clark Griswold

36. “I just can’t believe you’re actually standing here in my living room, Eddie.” — Clark Griswold

37. “Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record—Clark W. Griswold Jr.!” — Clark Griswold

38. “In seven years, he couldn’t find a job?” — Clark Griswold

39. “This isn’t charity, it’s family.” — Clark Griswold

40. “If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.” — Clark Griswold

41. “I didn’t go berserk, I simply solved a problem. We needed a coffin, uh, I mean, a tree.” — Clark Griswold

42. “We’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye!” — Clark Griswold

43. “My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain, is innocent.” — Clark Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-12

44. “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!” — Clark Griswold

45. “It’s the Christmas star. And that’s all that matters tonight. Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees. See kids, it means something different to everybody. Now I know what it means to me.” — Clark Griswold

46. “Well, I’m gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and well, I’ll be outside for the season.” — Clark Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by Ellen Griswold

47. “I’m sorry, this is our family’s first kidnapping.” — Ellen Griswold

48. “Are you out here for a reason, or are you just avoiding the family?” — Ellen Griswold

49. “Welcome to our home—what’s left of it?” — Ellen Griswold

50. “Clark, we’re stuck under a truck!” — Ellen Griswold

51. “Well, I don’t know what to say except it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-14

52. “I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold

53. “Clark, Audrey’s frozen from the waist down.” — Ellen Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-15

Christmas vacation quotes by Cousin Eddie

54. “Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas, Clark! You about ready to do some kissing?” — Cousin Eddie

55. “I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV.” — Cousin Eddie

56. “You better take a rain check on that, Art—he’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” — Cousin Eddie

57. “If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.” — Cousin Eddie

58. “You ain’t never seen a set on a dog like this one’s got, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie

59. “Here’s a little list – alphabetical, starting with Catherine.” — Cousin Eddie

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-17

60. “That’s a honey of a tree, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie

61. “Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!” — Cousin Eddie

62. “Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the wild turkey.” — Cousin Eddie

63. “Save the neck for me, Clark!” — Cousin Eddie

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-18

64. “Don’t forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.” — Cousin Eddie

65. “I don’t know if I ought to go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic.” — Cousin Eddie

66. “Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.” — Cousin Eddie

67. “Oh, he’s just yakkin’ on a bone.” — Cousin Eddie

Christmas vacation quotes by Aunt Bethany

68. “Do you hear it? It’s a funny squeaky sound!” — Aunt Bethany

69. “Is your house on fire, Clark?” — Aunt Bethany

70. “Grace? She died 30 years ago!” — Aunt Bethany

71. “Play ball!” — Aunt Bethany

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-20

Christmas vacation quotes by Rusty Griswold

72. “Mom? This box is meowing.” — Rusty Griswold

73. “I told you we should have gone to Hawaii!” — Rusty Griswold

74. “Whoa, geez! Look at the time. I gotta get to bed—and brush my teeth, feed the hog, do the laundry, wash the car, still got some homework to do.” — Rusty Griswold

75. “Think you might be overdoing it, Dad?” — Rusty Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-21

Christmas vacation quotes by Todd Chester

76. “Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?” — Todd Chester

77. “I can’t just attack someone.” — Todd Chester

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-22

Christmas vacation quotes by Audrey Griswold

78. “Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?” — Audrey Griswold

79. “We’re not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it, are we, Dad?” — Audrey Griswold

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-23

Christmas vacation quotes by Uncle Lewis

80. “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” — Uncle Lewis

81. “Hey, Gris, if you’re not doing anything constructive, run into the living room, get my stogy.” — Uncle Lewis

82. “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” — Uncle Lewis

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-23

Christmas vacation quotes by Ruby Sue

83. “Santa Claus! Uncle Clark, are you Santa Claus?” — Ruby Sue

84. “I love it here. You don’t gotta put on your coat to go to the bathroom, and your house is always parked in the same place!” — Ruby Sue

85. “Rocky bit my thumb. Him’s nervous.” — Ruby Sue

86. “Sorry. Sh*ttin’ rocks.” — Ruby Sue

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-25

Christmas vacation quotes by Grandpa Clark

87. “It’s your house, it’s your Christmas, and I’m retiring.” — Grandpa Clark

88. “I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.” — Grandpa Clark

89. “If you need any help, just give me a holler, I’ll be upstairs—asleep.” — Grandpa Clark

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-26

Few more popular Christmas vacation quotes by other actors

90. “And why is the carpet all wet, Todddddd?” — Margo Chester

91. “Hurry up, Clark. I’m freezing my baguettes off.” — Art Smith

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-27

92. “Sh*tter’s full.” — Uncle Eddie

93. “You’re the last true family man.” — Bill

Christmas vacation quotes by betterlifethoughts-28

94. “The little lights are not twinkling.” — Grandpa Art

95. “Now, if you’ll excuse me—I’m in the middle of an important call… get me somebody…anybody.” — Frank Shirley

96. “Yes, officer? It seems my husband has been abducted. The man was wearing a blue leisure suit.” — Mrs. Shirley

97. “What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?” — Grandpa Art

98. “It’s people that make the difference – little people like you.” — Frank Shirley

99. “Frank, honey, you were kidnapped!” — Mrs. Shirley

100. “Your grandma’s got a real painful bur on her heel. If you rub it for me, I’ll give you a whole quarter.” — Grandma Griswold

So did you like these Christmas Vacation Quotes?

Time changes, taste also changes. But there are some things that never change, always keep attraction. National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation quotes are one of them you will always enjoy.

What is the opinion about the quotes? Which one did you enjoy the most?

Feel free to share your thoughts with us by commenting below.

Thank you.

Be happy, be mindful.

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Arjyapath

Arjyapath

A Buddhist monk. Blogging is a passion. He is helping people to overcome mental problems by giving them proper advice. He believes that if you true to your dream, then the dream will come true.

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