Christmas vacation quotes from the most popular “Christmas Vacation movie” will make your Christmas more fun and entertainment. Christmas means relax, have fun, enjoy and happiest moment.
In this time, we usually love to watch some funny and laughing movies. No doubt that National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is the best movie in this category. The quotes of Christmas vacation are full of fun and uncommon.
There are many popular and unique Christmas vacation quotes in this movie. All of that are evergreen. They are not similar to traditional Christmas quotes. If you read all the quotes, surely you will feel the difference.
Here I have selected 100 best and popular Christmas vacation quotes. I hope you will enjoy reading these quotes.
Christmas vacation quotes by Clark Griswold
1. “Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — Clark Griswold
2. “Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Happy Hanukkah.” — Clark Griswold
3. “We’re at the threshold of hell.” — Clark Griswold
4. “Eat my road, Red Liver Lips!” — Clark Griswold
5. “Yes, it’s a bit nipply out, I mean nippy out.” — Clark Griswold
6. “I’m gonna catch it in a coat, and smack it with a hammer!” — Clark Griswold
7. “No, I have one of those at home.” — Clark Griswold
8. “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” — Clark Griswold
8. “It’s all part of the experience, honey!” — Clark Griswold
10. “Bend over and I’ll show you.” — Clark Griswold
11. “Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen!” — Clark Griswold
12. “*sips eggnog* It’s good. It’s good.” — Clark Griswold
13. “Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.” — Clark Griswold
14. “Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air, and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.” — Clark Griswold
15. “Can’t see the line, can ya, Russ?” — Clark Griswold
16. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” — Clark Griswold
17. “It’s a one-year membership in the jelly-of-the-month club.” — Clark Griswold
18. “We’re gonna have the hap- hap- happiest Christmas.” — Clark Griswold
19. “Looks great. Little full, lotta sap.” — Clark Griswold
20. “Wouldn’t be the holiday shopping season if the stores weren’t hooter than they are—hotter than they are.” — Clark Griswold
21. “We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.” — Clark Griswold
22. “I’m going to catch it in the coat, smack it with a hammer!” — Clark Griswold
23. “Eat my rubber!” — Clark Griswold
24. “Surprised, Eddie?… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” — Clark Griswold
25. “We’re at the threshold of hell!!” — Clark Griswold
26. “Hey kids, look! A deer!” — Clark Griswold
27. “Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Christhmath.” — Clark Griswold
28. “Honey, they’re family—not strangers off the street.” — Clark Griswold
29. “Your mother waxes her upper lip?… Hmm doesn’t show.” — Clark Griswold
30. “I can’t even afford to be an elf.” — Clark Griswold
31. “I was just smelling…smiling! I was just blouse…browsing!” — Clark Griswold
32. “It wouldn’t be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter-hotter! Than they are.” — Clark Griswold
33. “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.” — Clark Griswold
34. “Oops, a little knot here. You work on that.” — Clark Griswold
35. “Don’t piss me off, Art.” — Clark Griswold
36. “I just can’t believe you’re actually standing here in my living room, Eddie.” — Clark Griswold
37. “Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record—Clark W. Griswold Jr.!” — Clark Griswold
38. “In seven years, he couldn’t find a job?” — Clark Griswold
39. “This isn’t charity, it’s family.” — Clark Griswold
40. “If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.” — Clark Griswold
41. “I didn’t go berserk, I simply solved a problem. We needed a coffin, uh, I mean, a tree.” — Clark Griswold
42. “We’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye!” — Clark Griswold
43. “My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain, is innocent.” — Clark Griswold
44. “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!” — Clark Griswold
45. “It’s the Christmas star. And that’s all that matters tonight. Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees. See kids, it means something different to everybody. Now I know what it means to me.” — Clark Griswold
46. “Well, I’m gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and well, I’ll be outside for the season.” — Clark Griswold
Christmas vacation quotes by Ellen Griswold
47. “I’m sorry, this is our family’s first kidnapping.” — Ellen Griswold
48. “Are you out here for a reason, or are you just avoiding the family?” — Ellen Griswold
49. “Welcome to our home—what’s left of it?” — Ellen Griswold
50. “Clark, we’re stuck under a truck!” — Ellen Griswold
51. “Well, I don’t know what to say except it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold
52. “I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold
53. “Clark, Audrey’s frozen from the waist down.” — Ellen Griswold
Christmas vacation quotes by Cousin Eddie
54. “Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas, Clark! You about ready to do some kissing?” — Cousin Eddie
55. “I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV.” — Cousin Eddie
56. “You better take a rain check on that, Art—he’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” — Cousin Eddie
57. “If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.” — Cousin Eddie
58. “You ain’t never seen a set on a dog like this one’s got, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie
59. “Here’s a little list – alphabetical, starting with Catherine.” — Cousin Eddie
60. “That’s a honey of a tree, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie
61. “Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!” — Cousin Eddie
62. “Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the wild turkey.” — Cousin Eddie
63. “Save the neck for me, Clark!” — Cousin Eddie
64. “Don’t forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.” — Cousin Eddie
65. “I don’t know if I ought to go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic.” — Cousin Eddie
66. “Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.” — Cousin Eddie
67. “Oh, he’s just yakkin’ on a bone.” — Cousin Eddie
Christmas vacation quotes by Aunt Bethany
68. “Do you hear it? It’s a funny squeaky sound!” — Aunt Bethany
69. “Is your house on fire, Clark?” — Aunt Bethany
70. “Grace? She died 30 years ago!” — Aunt Bethany
71. “Play ball!” — Aunt Bethany
Christmas vacation quotes by Rusty Griswold
72. “Mom? This box is meowing.” — Rusty Griswold
73. “I told you we should have gone to Hawaii!” — Rusty Griswold
74. “Whoa, geez! Look at the time. I gotta get to bed—and brush my teeth, feed the hog, do the laundry, wash the car, still got some homework to do.” — Rusty Griswold
75. “Think you might be overdoing it, Dad?” — Rusty Griswold
Christmas vacation quotes by Todd Chester
76. “Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?” — Todd Chester
77. “I can’t just attack someone.” — Todd Chester
Christmas vacation quotes by Audrey Griswold
78. “Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?” — Audrey Griswold
79. “We’re not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it, are we, Dad?” — Audrey Griswold
Christmas vacation quotes by Uncle Lewis
80. “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” — Uncle Lewis
81. “Hey, Gris, if you’re not doing anything constructive, run into the living room, get my stogy.” — Uncle Lewis
82. “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” — Uncle Lewis
Christmas vacation quotes by Ruby Sue
83. “Santa Claus! Uncle Clark, are you Santa Claus?” — Ruby Sue
84. “I love it here. You don’t gotta put on your coat to go to the bathroom, and your house is always parked in the same place!” — Ruby Sue
85. “Rocky bit my thumb. Him’s nervous.” — Ruby Sue
86. “Sorry. Sh*ttin’ rocks.” — Ruby Sue
Christmas vacation quotes by Grandpa Clark
87. “It’s your house, it’s your Christmas, and I’m retiring.” — Grandpa Clark
88. “I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.” — Grandpa Clark
89. “If you need any help, just give me a holler, I’ll be upstairs—asleep.” — Grandpa Clark
Few more popular Christmas vacation quotes by other actors
90. “And why is the carpet all wet, Todddddd?” — Margo Chester
91. “Hurry up, Clark. I’m freezing my baguettes off.” — Art Smith
92. “Sh*tter’s full.” — Uncle Eddie
93. “You’re the last true family man.” — Bill
94. “The little lights are not twinkling.” — Grandpa Art
95. “Now, if you’ll excuse me—I’m in the middle of an important call… get me somebody…anybody.” — Frank Shirley
96. “Yes, officer? It seems my husband has been abducted. The man was wearing a blue leisure suit.” — Mrs. Shirley
97. “What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?” — Grandpa Art
98. “It’s people that make the difference – little people like you.” — Frank Shirley
99. “Frank, honey, you were kidnapped!” — Mrs. Shirley
100. “Your grandma’s got a real painful bur on her heel. If you rub it for me, I’ll give you a whole quarter.” — Grandma Griswold
So did you like these Christmas Vacation Quotes?
Time changes, taste also changes. But there are some things that never change, always keep attraction. National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation quotes are one of them you will always enjoy.
What is the opinion about the quotes? Which one did you enjoy the most?
Feel free to share your thoughts with us by commenting below.
Thank you.
Be happy, be mindful.
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